When I sit down to write a post, I often don’t really have a clue what I’m going to write about. I can choose from things that have happened in the time since I last posted, my general feelings around our new life and how it’s impacting on us as a family, or if I’ve been working on a project I’ll write about that. Sometimes posts pretty much write themselves. Sometimes they don’t.
Over the half term there has been so much going on there’s almost a wealth to choose from, we’ve had our first party at the barn, albeit a small one for the kids – though of course there was booze for the adults to soften it all.
We’ve been trick or treating and the opportunity to dress as a zombie mummy (the wrappings fell off somewhat en route) turned the boy into a confident chatterbox with total strangers.
We’ve hunted the Gruffalo in the deep dark wood, which excited the girl so much she pooed her pants – not easy to clean up on the side of a path but the experience disturbed me and J more than her (moss does not remove the stench from your hands, despite J’s assurances).
During the half term, friends have also asked me about the blog. Why did I start it? How often do I write? When do I find the time? Do I enjoy it? Firstly, I find it strange that others, sometimes in far flung places in the world, read this. Don’t get me wrong, I’m really pleased they do, but I do do it because I enjoy it and find it a really positive outlet, the fact others might read it and (hopefully) enjoy it is like the icing on the cake.
For me blogging has become something to do that’s all about being me, sitting down with a blank screen and just writing whatever comes to mind. Pre-move I worked three days a week, after the kids came along. When I first went back to work I was nervous about the change, but I loved it, I loved the opportunity to be Catherine again, not just seen as the boy and girl’s mummy. Obviously I talked about them (too much at times…although honestly? Maybe I just talked too much…) and obviously I still thought about them, but it gave me a time to reclaim a bit of who I’d been pre-children. And now I’m back to being a full time mummy this is what the blog is for. But with less swearing.
I find blogging an antidote to trying (and failing) to stay a chirpy positive mummy. It gives me an outlet to just blurt and occasionally rant. It’s about me, and it’s about finding some time in my otherwise chaotic, cooking, cleaning, entertaining filled days that’s just about me. And I think that’s important. For me to hold it together, and not have nuclear meltdowns when the kids throw their third meal of the day all over the floor, or decide all the straw in the chicken coop would actually be better placed on each other’s heads, I need to remember that Catherine does still exist and does still have a voice and her own thoughts, that aren’t always accompanied by the theme tune to Fireman Sam. I don’t usually talk about myself in third person. That would be strange.