Another week draws to a close and there is still no sign of the DBS (it’s now been 18 weeks, so it should be next week. I’m not holding my breath) and I’m starting to find it all more than a little annoying.
I am the type of person who likes order, I like to be in control and I like to have a plan. We no longer plan, we just see what happens, we let the wind take us where it will, we go with the flow. As a self-confessed control freak I find this so very, VERY frustrating.
I’m sure there are people out there who live their lives like this, being spontaneous (and probably calling themselves “crazy”), and enjoy every moment. Not me.
Yes, the time together is nice. But let’s face it – there’s only so much time a family can spend together without all driving each other insane. I love my family dearly but they can all be very annoying (unlike me).
Yes, being able to head off to the hills, or wherever else takes our fancy, is nice, but it doesn’t feel so much like a treat when you can do it whenever you want.
I need routine. I used to be the woman who had a menu for the week (often including breakfast and lunch), now we eat more pasta and pesto than is strictly necessary because I’m not good at just making it up. I need routine to stop me pigging out on every item of unhealthy food my eye falls upon, I need routine to stop me drinking too much. In short, I need routine to give me some self-control.
And it isn’t just me it’s affecting. Routine is so important to children, it makes them feel secure, they change, and experience so many new things, every day, routine helps them to feel in control. The boy is still going through his delightfully aggressive phase – last night we once again had the ‘have a wee before bed’ row. Daddy was kicked, daddy was hit, so mummy stepped in to calm it down – mummy made it worse by being (almost) as stubborn as the boy – mummy was bitten, mummy was hit. Mummy eventually gave in and dumped the boy in the bath, not having had a wee, but he was so worked up he punched his sister. There was a lot of shouting and many tears.
I don’t want you to think the boy is a violent psychopath in the making (I will do the worrying about that, thanks) but he is angry, and he is freaked out. His current bed-wetting phase is another symptom of this (although typically, last night, after the rows and fighting and no weeing at bedtime – he was dry all night. Contrary so and so). And all this because we have no routine. He doesn’t know what each day is going to hold, and I think that is just too much for him to cope with. Unfortunately, he is very much his mother’s son.