First Day Nerves

Today has been J’s first full day at work since we moved, a day which we have been looking forward to for, what feels like, a very long time, although I’d be lying if I didn’t admit I was a little nervous about it as well.  This was the first full day on my own with the kids, something I’ve not done since last July before we moved here.  Saying that, I have been looking forward to it as well; I’ve been looking forward to our real life in the country starting – it’s been nice us all being together ALL the time (well, most of the time it has), but it has also been frustrating and chaotic and more importantly, it just hasn’t been sustainable.  To make this move work  one of us needs to be in full time employment, and J retrained as a primary school teacher to make this dream happen, and so of course it made sense that it would be him going out to work.

Anyway, thankfully J really enjoyed being back in the school environment and is still excited about teaching.  And, thankfully, I enjoyed being at home with the kids – although admittedly it was made a bit easier by the boy feeling poorly this afternoon, and so I got off lightly by putting Toy Story 3 on and providing cuddles on the sofa.

The day passed without incident, there wasn’t even that much bickering over which film they watched (mainly because it was the boy’s turn to choose) but it also gave me a chance to remember that actually, when it’s just me and the kids, I don’t spend the day shouting at them and I do remember to have some fun with them.  When all four of us are together I tend to let J take the lead with the kids, I think this probably harks back to the days when he was at work / college the majority of the time and so, when he did have days off, it was important for him to be present with the kids whilst I got on with chores.  Over the last six months this just became the norm, but the problem with that is, I can’t keep my mouth shut.  So whereas J has patience for misbehaviour and deals calmly, I just stomp in and shout and make matters worse and then stomp off again.  However when it’s just me and the kids I know I can’t do that, because there is no yang to my yin to calm the situation down, and so I have to deal with things more calmly (and, yes, more like a grown up).

J is now booked up solid with work for the next three weeks, and I’m looking forward to having some mummy and kids time and thinking up lots of fun outings for us (although the outings will probably only venture as far as the veg patch when the weather is really good).  In the back of my mind I’m really very aware that the girl starts nursery at the end of April and the boy will start school full time in September and so I’m determined to enjoy these last few months with my little people, before they scarily vanish before my eyes, and become big.

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