One of the aspects of our big move to the country which was always quite uncertain was what I would do here, jobwise. We knew it would be unlikely I would find anything that would pay as well as my previous job at the council, and I knew that I didn’t really want to return to working for the council as, although I’d enjoyed the job, I’d been working for a local authority for 15 or so years and felt ready for a change. I was hoping that the time out of work would help me focus and find a career path that I was really interested in and passionate about.
Well, it’s been 9 months since I was last in gainful employment (other than my two hours a week cleaning of course), and I can confirm that I still don’t really have a clue what I’d like to do with my life. At least I don’t have a clue what I want to do with my life, that isn’t what I’m already doing. I have become one of those people that retire and then quip “Oh, I don’t know how anyone fits working in”, because I really don’t. The days here are always busy, there’s always something that needs doing, the next job on the list to tick off (or just leap over and come back to at a later date, hopefully) and there are always more and more jobs being added to the list.
I know at some point I need to look for work that will help to pay the bills, but I still really don’t know what I want that job to be. I know I’d like to work for myself but one of my biggest problems is that I’m quite flightly, I’m like a butterfly, flitting from one idea to the next, and never having the staying power to see something through. The girl’s dress that I’ve been knitting for a year is a case in point, I’m now doubting she’ll actually squeeze into it, though I did have the foresight to knit it in the next size up – though this is now her size so instead of typing I should really be knitting. I think part of my flightiness though is I have too many ideas, too much I want to fit in to too little time.
The alternative, of course, is returning to work for someone else. But then what would that be? What would I really find fulfilling? I don’t want for us to have turned our lives upside down just to end up working for The Man again, scrambling after the mighty dollar (or more accurately, less mighty than it once was pound).
So what will I do? Fortunately I still have time to ponder, the girl will be in nursery for another year and a bit and we’ve agreed until she’s in school we’ll carry on as we are. I’m hoping for a lottery win, or J to speed through the education system and be a headmaster within the year. Because to be honest, life now is pretty good, there’s plenty of things to keep me occupied, and probably for the first time in my life, I feel pretty fulfilled just being.